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Just for yuks. We printed this yesterday (3/8/1) in the email Midrange Network Expert Alert (http://www.midrangecomputing.com/mne/subscribe/ ). I offer it here as a pleasent diversion and to kick off the new STB in style. Enjoy... Joe Hertvik (mailto:jhertvik@midrangecomputing.com[*]*************** 7. The Alert Halftime Show: the Krackenberg Brothers sing Java to a classic tune by the Vapors;-) by Joe Hertvik Long-time readers know that the MNE editorial staff are extremely good friends with those musical idiots, the Krackenberg Brothers. To say Ken and Karl Krackenberg are idiots would be like saying the Mona Lisa is a pretty drawing, Shakespeare is a good bedtime read, or George W. Bush is a good president (well, maybe not that last one). The Krackenbergs aren’t just idiots, they’re the poster boys of idiots. Idiots look down on them and write things about them on washroom stalls. The Krackenbergs comb their hair with a fork, pierce their noses so they have someplace to hang their car keys (and they still can’t figure out how to unlock the door), and they brush their teeth with Brillo pads. If there were a Super Bowl for idiots, they could easily beat the Baltimore Ravens, Art Modell or no Art Modell (though they might have a hard time competing in the XFL). But, if they be idiots (and I don’t think there’s much doubt about that), at least they’re idiot savants. And their gift is the ability to sing about the computer industry through American popular music. Who could forget that stirring Elton John-inspired ode to the great Windows migration scare of the late 1990s, “Goodbye, IBM Load.” Or their anti-Windows rendition of a classic Chuck Berry song, “Roll Over Two-Thousand.” Or the equally unforgettable love song about a man, a woman, and the Linux server that brought them together, “Tie a Linux Penguin ‘Round the Ole’ PC,” sung to the classic music of Tony Orlando and Dawn. No matter what’s happening today in Silicon Heaven, chances are good the Krackenbergs can set it to music. And that’s a gift right up there with the musical talents of Ricky Martin. Yes, the Krackenbergs are stupid, and in an earlier age, we would have tried them as witches, but in 2001 we glorify their music even though we fear their personal hygiene. Only Weird Al Yankovic can compete in their arena but—truth to tell—it’s really a little below him. And today, Ken and Karl Krackenberg are visiting us to play a little music for our halftime show in this week’s newsletter. So without any further ado (we already have enough ado, thank you), here’s the Krackenbergs with their rendition of the Vapors classic song, “Turning Japanese” sung to the tune of the Java revolution. Ladies and gentlemen, put your arms straight down to your sides and let’s all dance by hopping up and down to the hot jammin’ sounds of the Krackenbergs: I got some new code, I got some new code, I got some new code for me and for you You wrote the new beans I wrote some new beans I tune them when there’s nothing else I can do Sun’s got me burning, got me turning, got me yearning, got me learning and I’m turning Java-nese, I think I’m turning Java-nese I really think so Turning Java-nese, I think I’m turning Java-nese I really think so Turning Java-nese, I think I’m turning Java-nese I really think so I want some servlets I want some servlets I want a million users all to myself I want Denoncourt to write some servlets So I can run them on your desktop as well Sun’s got me burning, got me turning, got me yearning, got me learning and I’m turning Java-nese, I think I’m turning Java-nese I really think so Turning Java-nese, I think I’m turning Java-nese I really think so Turning Java-nese, I think I’m turning Java-nese I really think so No Gates, no Windows, No COBOL, No C-plus No fun, no VB, no lists, no wonder it’s dark Everyone around me is a Linux ranger Everyone around me is a co And that's where they were shot...